


Being a Hero

by OIAnni4



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-01 13:56:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15144563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OIAnni4/pseuds/OIAnni4
Summary: There is nothing worse than being a Hero, and failing to help the people that believes in you. You can't save everyone, Kara knows that, but it doesn't make the losses any easier to face





	Being a Hero

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. First time publishing here. Hope you enjoy and... I'm so sorry for any errors or mistakes you might find. They are all mine. Enjoy the story!

The phone rings. It has been ringing for a while now, and Kara just ignores it; she had been doing that for the past hours. It had been a long and crappy day; a big earthquake had hit National City and Kara helped as much as she could, she saved many lives but it wasn’t enough; no matter how fast, no matter how strong, Kara is only human… well, not human but she has limits, and it all happened so fast; one minute she was taking three people out of a building, next thing she knows, the whole structure goes down and she barely has time to move people out of the way, to cover them all. Twenty people died. Five of them were children. Children.

Kara shook her head and rubbed her eyes, trying to fight the tears she had been holding since the incident, but it was proving to be a hard task, all she could think of was the sound of people calling for help, kids crying, hearts stopping… it was a lot for her; And it didn’t end there, no… she remembers helping the rescue team with the bodies, she carried them and took them to their families, it took everything in her to not break; but when they got the last two victims out, when she saw the lifeless body of a little girl wearing a Supergirl shirt together with a cape, something in Kara died.

– My baby! – Kara turned around when she heard the devastating cry of the woman that was now running towards her – That’s my baby!

The superhero could feel the tears coming to her, but she kept a strong face as she moved closer to the mother – I… I’m so sorry for your lost

– No, no, no… She was safe. She was here with me but… She ran… - The woman reached for the girl and started crying as she hugged her daughter close to her chest – This is your fault! This is all your fault! You were supposed to save her!

Kara froze in the spot as an older man, who look just as broken, joined the woman on the floor -Honey, don’t… the earthquake…

– I don’t care! Lizzie was here, with me. I was holding her! I had her and then… and then she was running after her and I couldn’t stop her… I couldn’t stop her…

Kara took a shaky breath and just nodded when the man offered and apology as he cried with his wife, the blonde trying to ignore the people around, offering a broken smile to the rescue team when they asked if she was okay -We can’t save them all, Supergirl – She tried to let those words sink into her mind, but it proved to be impossible

The blonde continued to help, she continued to ensure everyone else was safe, but more people started blaming her for not saving someone they loved; they had higher expectations from her, the powerful alien, so she took it all, glad that she could at least take that burden away from the rest of the rescue team; but at one point, she got slapped by another upset mother and that was the last thing she could take – Do you need me? – She asked the team’s leader, who had witness all the events and was giving a torn but disapproving look to the people around

– No. Thank you for your service, Supergirl. Go home. We did everything we could – Kara could tell what he was trying to say, the hidden message behind his words and the caring look, ‘ _It was not your fault’._ The blonde tried to smile and took off

After that, Kara flew as high as she could, as fast as she could, she went around the globe three times before landing on a small island in the middle of the ocean, where it was just her and the sea. The blonde collapsed on the sand, hands and knees against it, as the first wave of tears came through; she cried, she yelled, she crushed rocks with her bare hands and when she didn’t have anything left in her, she laid on her back, cape and boots off, just looking at the sky, tears silently falling as she let time pass.

The blonde hadn’t move from her position since then, the only thing interrupting her peace being the damn phone; she sighed and finally reached for it on her boot, not even bothering to check who it was, knowing only the DEO knew of the satellite phone she kept with her at all times – What?

– What!? What!? What do you mean by that? Do you know how worried I am right now? have you even check the time!? Where are you!?

Kara sighed as she closed her eyes – Away. I needed time to think

– Kara, you can’t just disappear like that. Not without telling me. I thought something happened to you

– Alex, I’m not a kid and you are not my mother. I can do whatever…- Kara stopped and took a breath, shaking her head while sniffing a bit – I had a long day, okay? I just needed some peace. Some quiet

– Kar… Where are you? Can you come back? Do you need me to pick you up? – Alex sounded concerned and Kara wanted nothing more than ice cream and cuddles with her sister, but she couldn’t bring herself to move, she didn’t feel like she deserver it. Not yet.

– I’m… I don’t know where I am. But I’m okay, yeah? I just need to… I just need time

– I know, and you don’t have to go through this alone, Kara. Can you… just come home?

– Soon – Kara promised as she opened her eyes and noticed it was getting dark – I will drop by your apartment as soon as I get back to National City, okay?

Alex hesitated, Kara could tell her sister was worried and she loved her for that, but she needed to get some emotional strength back, she was not ready to be back in the city yet, and Kara didn’t want to keep Alex away from her family – Alright, you promise?

– Yeah. I promise – Kara tried to sound a bit more cheerful for her – Say hi to Ruby and Sam for me, yeah?

– Of course. Call me if you change your mind. I can meet you anywhere you are

– I know, you are the best. Love you, Al

– Love you too, Kara – The other woman took a moment before ending the call, she wanted to say more, do more but she knew her sister and now she could only wait

Kara stared at the phone once Alex’s voice was gone and felt herself crying again. It was unfair, it was always unfair; she didn’t pick this, she didn’t ask for it, she never asked to be one of the few survivors of a dying planet. What made her so special? Her parents having more resources than many other in Krypton? Why did she get to live as millions died? And the powers, she didn’t ask for power; how could she know a yellow sun would change her body? Change who she was at 13? give her a gift so amazing, yet so heavy that it felt like a curse at times? She didn’t ask for the responsibility, but how could she stay on the side and do nothing? She wanted to help people, but was she able to carry that weight?

More importantly, why did she get to be happy? How was that fair? How could Kara go home to her sister, her family to see them so happy, to feel so loved, when many were crying now because she couldn’t help? When a little girl had believed in her so strongly that she had blindly run to her hero, and lost her life in the process? It was not fair, Kara knew it was ridiculous, she knew it was not her fault, but it didn’t make the pain stop, it didn’t make her feel better, and all she could do was cry, the heavy feeling on her chest, the voices and the cries for help invading her mind, making it hard to breath.

It took her some time, but she finally found the strength to focus for a moment, get her phone and dial a number, the first number on her mind, Kara needed some help – Alex? Alex, I can’t breathe

– Kara? – The voice on the other side sounded tired and confused, but not like Alex at all, however, Kara couldn’t bring herself to care, not when she felt like she was losing herself

– I can’t breathe – The blonde said again as she started to cry – I couldn’t save them, they died, everyone blames me and… it’s crushing me. It’s crushing me, and I can’t breathe

– I… Okay, It’s okay, Kara. Just follow me, follow my breathing – The person on the other side started helping, the voice was so soft, tone fill with care and a sense of security that help Kara control her sobs – That’s good. Just like that… In and Out… Focus on me

Kara closed her eyes and did as told, focusing on the voice, focusing on the background, focusing on the heartbeat. It was familiar; and just like that, there was nothing else, the world was dark and all that mattered was the soft voice, the steady heartbeat and the feeling of the sand between Kara’s toes, no one else was there, it was just her and the voice on the other side. It was not easy, but the other person kept talking, kept guiding her, kept helping her even after Kara went quiet, and her breathing went back to normal

– Thank you – Kara managed to say once she was able to find her voice, and her head started to clear – I’m sorry

– It’s alright, darling. I’m happy to help – The soft tone was back, and Kara finally acknowledge the voice on the other side was not Alex’s voice, it was… she gasped, her heart stopped, did she just… – Kara, I can hear you thinking. Stay with me. It’s okay

– Lena... I… I didn’t… I’m so sorry – The blonde tried not to panic, but she knew the secret was finally out and she was scared – I was going to tell you…

– Kara, stop. It’s okay. That’s not important right now – Lena was careful with her words, trying to make herself clear with the blonde – How are you feeling?

– Better, yeah… It was a difficult day and… I was going to call Alex but… I dialed your number, I didn’t… I didn’t think anything of it, it was the first number and… Oh no, the moon! It’s so late and… Oh Rao, Lena, Did I wake you up? I’m so sorry. I know you are a busy woman and…

– Kara, honey, stop. It’s okay. I’m here for you, always. Forget about the time. I’m just glad I could help – Lena yawned into the phone and Kara could hear her moving out of bed – Do you want me to come over? Or… Call your sister? You did mention her name so I’m sure you want to be with her

– No! No… I… I’m not home – Kara replied softly as she sat up and looked at the water reaching her feet

– Not… Wait– Lena stayed quiet for a moment and chuckled a bit – The beach?

Kara looked around, seeing a couple of palm trees and a big rock as part of the small piece of land – Something like that

– Well, Can I drive there? – It was a simple question, but it made Kara feel so warm inside. She knew Alex was family and would do anything for her, but having Lena offer to do the same, even when she didn’t have to, it was a unique experience on its own – Unless you want to be left alone

Kara thought about it, it had been hours since the events that got her upset happened, and after the little panic attack she was craving some human contact. The blonde knew she could call Alex, but the dark thoughts surrounding family and happiness where still making her a little anxious, she was not ready for her sister yet; Lena, on the other hand, was a friend, and Kara could really use a friend

– I would love to have you here – The blonde replied, not thinking much of her answer – But… I’m very, very far away. I don’t even know my exact location

– Did you flight around without direction? – The concern was clear on her friend’s tone, Kara smiled sadly

– Something like that… Don’t worry, I will make my way back soon. I just… I don’t feel like moving at the time

The line went silent for a minute, Kara thought the call had dropped, but before she could ask if Lena was still there, the other woman cleared her throat – Do you want me there? I mean… Not me but… company?

Kara closed her eyes and thought about it for another minute, Lena was being very patient and thoughtful, and Kara appreciated the gesture, it was what she needed, so after a moment, the blonde decided to be honest and nodded to herself – I would really like a friend here, yeah

There was another moment of silence before Kara heard Lena moving around – Alright. Don’t move

Before Kara could say or ask anything, Lena ended the call; The blonde stared at the phone for a moment and let out a sigh, she decided to relax, figuring Lena would try to call and explain once was ready to. As time passed, Kara got more comfortable against the sand, letting the sound of the waves almost lure her to sleep, but before it could happen, the particular ‘thud’ sound of someone landing next to her made her jolt awake, all her senses active, her body ready for a fight, however, when she turned, she was greeted with a rather unusual sight that almost made Kara laugh.

– Kal? – The blonde asked, blinking a few times to figure if the scene in front of her was part of a dream, something inside of her twisting with the sight of a certain brunette holding her cousin close – Is that… Why are you carrying Lena?

– It’s the best way to travel with someone when you fly – The man of steel replied as he set Lena down – You can let go now, Ms. Luthor. We are here

The CEO took a minute to compose herself and let her hands relax against the red cape she had hold onto for the whole trip like it was dear life because it felt familiar, but her legs were shaking, and her body was rigid as she felt the man of steel himself hold her in place, like he was afraid she would fall if he let go – Thank you Mr. Kent. I’m sorry if I was an unpleasant passenger

– Don’t worry, everyone is a bit scared when flying – Superman replied and then looked at Kara – Are you okay? Lena said it was very important to find you and guide her to you as soon as possible

– I… Did she just call you Mr. Kent? – Kara asked, still confused about the whole situation

– Oh… Lena turned in some documents her brother had on me a couple of months ago. That’s how she found out

Kara eyed her cousin, eyes falling on her friend afterwards – And you are okay with that, right?

Kal offered a smile and nodded – You made me a believer after that interview. Now even Loise has a soft spot for her

Kara smiled at that and nodded – Good. That’s good because she is nothing like her family, and I would fight you on that

–  He knows – Lena said with a sweet smile, finally finding her voice again – You always do that for me

The blonde looked at her friend and smiled, focusing on her until their companion cleared his throat, reminding both that he was still there – Sorry, I will leave you two. But I need to ask again, are you okay?

– Now I am – Kara said, still looking at Lena before she turned to face Kal-el – It was just one of those days… We lost many, too many and… It was hard, you know?

– Yeah, I do – His face turned serious as he looked at them – I’m sure you both have a lot to talk about but… I’m here as well, okay? I know how it feels and I would like to help as much as I can

– That means a lot to me, Kal – The blonde said softly with a nod – Do you mind if… maybe I can visit on Friday? Tomorrow I will enjoy some sister time with Alex and today, well… but Friday, maybe…

– I would love that. I will tell Loise – Clark looked at them one last time and then smiled – Well, I’ve taken enough of your time. Don’t stay out too late. I’m glad Lena comes prepared

The CEO blushed, Kara finally noticing the bag she was holding close, Lena keeping her head high despite the teasing – I run a company, Mr. Kent. I’m always prepared. Thank you for your help

– It’s Clark, you know? Or Kal. Kara loves that one – Superman started levitating as he offered a smile – And no need to thank me. I know Kara would do the same. Have a good night

The blonde waved as she noticed her cousin leaving, looking back at Lena only when he was no longer in sight – So that just happened… You flew here. With superman, my cousin. And a cute little bag. Lena, that’s…

– Stupid? Over the top? Reckless? – The woman asked as she started pulling out a couple of things from her bag

– No, I was going to say Amazing. I know how much you hate lying. I know how late it is. I just… You are amazing

Lena blushed and shrugged a bit, setting a towel next to Kara before sitting next to her – That’s what friend are for

Kara hummed and laid back down on the sand, smiling when Lena did the same – I’m happy to have you here, I’m sorry for making you this, I don’t deserve…

– Stop. You deserve the world, Kara. And don’t fight me on that. You are the most selfless, caring, loving and outstanding woman I know, and you deserve grand gestures. I’m sure anyone who… anyone who loves you would do the same

– Not everyone – Kara said softly, and turned to her side to look at Lena – Just Alex… Maybe Clark, or Jo’nn but… They are family. It’s different

– That’s not true, I’m sure James or Winn…

– No. I love them, I do. And they love me too but… That’s not how… It’s different with them – Kara replied with a small frown – I don’t know how to explain it but, you… You are not like them, you know?

The blonde could feel Lena studying her face, the other woman reaching for her cheek to caress it – I can’t say I do, but you do feel like something special to me as well

Kara closed her eyes when she felt Lena’s touch, letting out a sigh – Can I hug you?

Lena didn’t reply, simply pulling Kara closer by the waist as the blonde settle against her, head resting against her chest; it took her a minute, but Lena allowed herself to relax with the blonde, running her fingers through her blonde locks, giving her friend time. There was a lot the CEO wanted to say but she knew Kara needed this more than anything, and all she could do was hold her closer and whisper kind words to her when the blonde’s body started shaking because of the tears.

– Do you think I’m a hero? – The blonde asked after some time, burying her face on Lena’s neck

– You’ve always been a hero for me, Kara. With or without the cape –Lena tried to pull back to look at her friend, but Kara just held her closer – But even heroes have bad days. I know it’s worse for you, everyone has big expectations… they forget you have feelings too, but there’s a limit to the things you can do, and you don’t have to beat yourself over it.

Kara stayed quiet for a moment, her hand playing with the hem of Lena’s shirt – There was… There was a little girl that ran to me, she… I didn’t see her, If I had…

– Kara, honey, don’t go there – Lena whispered, giving the super a squeeze – You did everything you could

– How do you know that? You were not there

– Because I know you, I’ve seen you as Supergirl. You put it all when saving people, sometimes you don’t even worry about what could happen to you. You are selfless like that – Lena hesitated for a moment before kissing the top of her head – You love strongly, and everything you do, you do it because of how kind you are, how much you care… I know you wish you could be everywhere but… that’s not how it works

– Everyone hates me now…– Kara added with a soft voice – It almost feels like the aftermath of the Red-K incident

Lena took a moment to think of her next words, knowing the Red-K incident was a delicate subject for the blonde – Kara, I was not here for that. Most of the information that I got came from the news, however, I know this is very different. Emotions are running high right now, lives were lost and people… when they can’t accept the reality of things, they use the painless way out and blame anyone they can, just to stop the pain. You are not losing National City’s trust, they do not fear you or hate you… They are just grieving.

Kara sniffed and pulled back a bit to look at Lena – I don’t want to… to be Supergirl. Not for some time. I think I need a break. Just worry about Kara Danvers… Maybe just help with big emergencies

– Then do it. Darling, no one will force you into that suit. You have the power to decide, just talk with… your people

The blonde took a breath and nodded, pulling back completely to clean her face a bit – Yeah, I can do that. Alex will understand, right? Do you think she will be mad?

Lena smiled and sat up to caress the blonde’s back – I don’t know your sister that well, Kara. But I know you are love, and anyone who loves will want what’s best for you. If you feel this will help, then just do it, alright?

– Okay – Kara offered a small smile and then blush – I’m sorry, Lena. I didn’t mean to cry all over you or to drag you out of your place in the middle of the night; I know you say it’s okay but still… I appreciate it.

– You would do the same for me – The other woman replied easily as she reached for a coat on her bag – Although, next time pick a nicer place to crash, like Hawaii. I could get us a hotel there, have a little getaway

Kara bit her lip and played with her hands a bit – Well, I didn’t know you would join, but… – She sighed and nodded to herself – But now that you mention it, you know, a getaway… Would you like to do that? With me? Just us?

Lena raised a curious eyebrow at that, hugging herself a bit to rub her arms due to the chilly air– So National City’s hero wants to escape the city with a Luthor? Now, isn’t that a great headline?

Kara half smiled at that and carefully moved behind Lena – May I? – She waited until the CEO nodded to sit behind her and let her cape cover them both as she pulled her closer by the waist

– K-Kara…– Lena whispered, her body instantly feeling warm as it pressed itself against the blonde’s strong front

The blonde hesitated for a moment but rested her chin on Lena’s shoulder as she closed her eyes – Is this okay?

– Yes. Thank you – Lena replied as she relaxed against the blonde

– I know Supergirl is a strong, brave and heroic figure that everyone loves but… Again, I don’t feel deserving of that, not now. And if I hang the cape for a couple of days, or weeks, Kara Danvers will be the only one left; if we… If you say yes to the getaway, it would be for me, Kara, and you, Lena. Not a Super and a Luthor. If that’s not something…

– Stop – Lena reached for Kara’s hands on her front and squeezed them a bit – I was just teasing you, Kara… I said it now, and I said it before, Kara Danvers is my hero. But I would still be your friend if you decide to just be… whatever you decide to be for good, with or without Supergirl. All I see, all I have ever seen is you

– I know. That’s why I was so afraid of telling you. Now I feel silly

Lena chuckled a bit and nodded – You should. I was mad at you when I first figure it out but then… you always found a way to support me, believe in me. I figured trust was not the problem since you trust me so blindly

– Guilty – Kara replied with a hum – I’m sorry. I was being selfish. You are too good to me

– What can I say? You are my favorite

–  And you are mine – The blonde said in a whisper, hiding her face against Lena’s neck – I… Will it be okay if…? No, never mind. I’ve kept you out for too long – Kara pulled back with a blush

– Hey – Lena turned around and stopped the blonde from standing, tilting her head to find her eyes – Talk to me

Kara bit her lip as she focused on the woman in front of her, getting lost in her eyes, taking in all the love and kindness Lena was showing to her with just one look; without thinking about, the blonde moved forward, their lips inches away, but not moving to close the space between them – I want to kiss you, is that…?

She didn’t get to finish the question, Lena making the last move to let their lips connect, both of them almost gasping into the kiss, but quickly recovering as they got lost in the feeling, and for the first time, with no effort needed, all Kara could feel was Lena, and all she could hear was their heartbeats, and it felt right – Kara –  Lena said, pulling back first, looking at the blonde with a mix of feeling showing in her eyes

The blonde offered a small but genuine smile as she reached to caress Lena’s cheek – Yeah?

– I… Are you sure about this? – She asked with a small voice, making the blonde frown – I mean, I know today was… It was quite a day for you and, like I said before, emotions are running high.  But I don’t want to take advantage of you, I’ve imagining what it would be like to kiss you for a while, and that was better than anything I… but I came here as a friend. And sometimes, when we are in a low point and someone does this… big gestures, you fee like… like there could be an attraction but that’s not always the case. I don’t want to jeopardize our friendship if this is…

Kara rolled her eyes and cupped Lena’s face with both hands, making her stop her rant; she took a moment to run her thumb over her lips while looking at her unsure eyes before moving closer for another kiss, trying to use that simple gesture to show how much she wanted it – I’ve been thinking about kissing you since I first left your office after Clark wrote the article about you. You literally left me speechless, with one look, I was gone

Lena looked at the blonde, trying to decide if she was being honest, and when she made up her mind, she smiled and pulled her closer to rest their foreheads together – I noticed the blush

– Beautiful woman staring at your soul, and giving you a cheeky little smile… I want to see you get through that

Lena laughed a bit and shook her head – You mean like you giving me this look and that innocent grin when you were trying to get an exclusive on my latest L-Corp project?

Kara felt herself smiling, with a hum, she moved closer and pecked her lips – It was worth a shot

– It sure was – Lena squeezed Kara’s waist and focused on her for a moment – Not to… end the moment, but I think we should go back. Are you ready for that?

The blonde thought about it for a second before she nodded, pulling back after one last kiss, standing and offering her hand to her… friend? – I’m ready

– Great, the sand was starting to get everywhere, and you don’t want to see me uncomfortable, I get cranky

– That sounds like me without food – Just then, Kara’s stomach growled, making her blush

– Ah, hungry Kryptonian. Good thing is… I got snacks. I thought you would need them for the flight

Kara grinned and rush to the bag, smiling when she saw the food she managed to fit – Do you want something?

Lena shook her head as she fixed her clothes a bit – It’s all yours.

The blonde let out a happy sound and started eating, trying to do it at a normal speed, but her hunger getting the best of her; within minutes, she was done, and the black-haired woman had an amuse smile on her face – Ready to go?

Lena laughed and nodded, picking up her towel and passing Kara her boots, packing up before she waited for the woman to be ready – You better not drop me

– Never – Kara said, easily picking her up, smiling as she felt Lena get comfortable and relax against her – You can sleep if you need, I will wake you when we get to your place

– Thank you, Darling – Lena closed her eyes and took a dep breath, focusing on Kara as she took off, hiding her face against her chest – About that getaway… We could go this weekend and I could get Jess to free up the coming week for me

– Alright, let me talk to my boss and I will let you know – Kara said and smiled when Lena simply chuckle – It will be okay, right? Going back to National City is good?

– Yes, darling. Your sister must be worried, your friends too. And if you need me, I will be right there

Kara nodded and looked ahead, focusing on taking Lena back home. It would be hard, but she wouldn’t be alone, that thought made her feel at ease, as she continued the rest of the flight with a beautiful woman sleeping in her arms

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for making it this far. I will try to write more, probably oneshots, if anyone is interested on that. See you guys around!


End file.
